Thu, 01/20/2011 – 01:28 – PokerPages Staff

#5 – Tie: 9 with 2, 3 or 4
Just about the only good thing about these two cards is the 9.  You’re only chance depends on pairing with another nine, but you’re still very unlikely to get very far.  Any player with pocket aces, kings, queens, jacks or tens could whoop your behind.

#4 – 6-2
Even worse.  Unless you think you’re due a miracle, fold.  Your only hope is that a sensational flop of 5-4-3 comes from the board, but even then, you’ll still be in trouble.  If someone happens to have a 6 and a 7, they’ll have the higher straight.  The same applies to a flush.

#3 – Tie: 8-3 & 7-3
The poker misery score just plumbed new depths.  OK, you might just make a straight with a 7 and a 3 if you’re lucky – but it still stinks.  There’s no chance this side of the Pearly Gates you’ll make a straight with an 8 and a 3.  Don’t let these cards take you down the pooper with them, which is where they belong.

#2 – 8-2
As indeed, does this combination.  8 is better than 7, granted, but it’s still underwhelming for a high card.  Even if the suits match, your best bet is to fold.  Poker junk.

#1 – 7-2 (“The Hammer”)
If you thought the others were bad, you hadn’t yet seen the worst.  This is it.  Things just don’t get more hopeless in Hold’em poker than this.  Because there are four cards between them, you’ll never make a straight.  Even with matching suits, the best you could hope for is a mediocre flush.  If the 2 or the 7 pairs, you’re still left with a dismally low hand.  Fold.